I am tired.

Hiking above the stream

Ksiv stream

I made this little loaf of bread in my shoebox oven!

Oh, geeze! Yesterday was an incredibly long day. I don’t know how I am going to make it through this one. So far this week, we’ve had the audition for KCDC 2 (I made it past the first audition and will continue on to the 2^nd one on the 10^th of April) and then we took an epic hike along Ksiv stream. Yesterday, I had an eleven-hour day! I had 4 classes, a rehearsal and a pilates lesson.

Upon entering my third class yesterday, all I wanted to do was collapse. Our teacher said that she would certainly take under consideration that we were all really tired, but that seemed not to be the case. I was told on multiple occasions that I was marking the combination and that she needed more from me. I absolutely do not deny that I was marking quite a few of the combinations. I legitimately tried to give more, but actually could not. I was totally frustrated by this and I ended up leaving the class and sat in a patch of sun for fifteen minutes, which noticeably improved my mood!

The rest of my day went well. Rehearsal went smoothly (I cleaned up a lot of things for our showing on Sunday).  Comp class was relaxing and then I finished my day in the best way possible: I took a pilates class on the reformer with Renana. Renana has taken a small bomb shelter – yes, bomb shelter – and turned it into a beautiful pilates/workout studio. She gives brilliant semi private one-hour pilates lessons. The past three classes I’ve had with her, I go into feeling skeletally  un-aligned and run-down and leave feeling strong and calm. My pelvis has actually realigned itself every time as well. We also focus a great deal of our time on deep breathing which is very relaxing. After my lesson yesterday, she invited me to hang out and watch the others begin their lesson. Even though it was late, she gave me an apple and sage tea and I ended up sitting there watching people work out and listening to jazz music for a good 25 min. It was lovely!

As time wears on and I become progressively more tired and worn down, it is hard to remain as positive as I have been. Recently, I have seen the negativity factor increase significantly in daily conversation. It has been really hard for me to separate myself from it and not succumb to it, but I am determined to do so. I have so many positive things to say about this program and about the dancing here even if it isn’t the kind of dancing I want to be doing for the rest of my life. So my challenge for myself for the rest of this program is to attempt to separate myself from those who are excessively negative and to turn everything negative that either I say or someone else voices into an affirmation. One of my friends was talking about doing this and I think it’s a fabulous idea. I used to make affirmations about my piano playing and my performance improved dramatically.

Okay, I am off to start my day. We have class from 10am to 9pm. We’re having a special workshop with this amazing dancer who is setting a piece on us! Cannot wait. When she dances, it looks like all the bones in her body have turned to taffy. I’ll try to find a link to share here. Enjoy pictures I’ve taken of our hike the other day!

With love, Marissa