Dear All,
I am almost at the end of what I would like to call part one of my Israeli adventures. I am saying part one because I intend to make it back to this Kibbutz before too long… This is the first day of our final performances also. The show is absolutely colossal! It is two hours in length and the most cardio-vascular intensive performance I’ve been involved in! We have four performances followed by loads of clean up and final goodbyes. Thursday evening, I’m headed to Tel Aviv to catch my 1am flight and then I’ll be back in NYC by 5:40am on Friday morning! New York, here I come!!!
Though these past few weeks have been filled with lots of ‘lasts,’ they’ve also been filled with many firsts. Last weekend, I took a trip to the next kibbutz over – a mere 30-minute walk – to the top of an ancient fort/ruin and watched the sun go down over the Mediterranean. You could see for miles in every direction; it was absolutely gorgeous. Following that, I went to Shabbat dinner at Ophra’s house. Ophra works costumes for KCDC and has been around the kibbutz for ages. Her house is an amazing collection of unique odds and ends that have been acquired over time. Among other things, I noticed that she had a music stand set up with a book of flute and piano duets by Handel! So after telling her that I played piano, we set up a date to play together. Yesterday – a week later – we finally got into the studios together to play. I had such a nice time! She has a really sweet tone and I managed to keep up by sight-reading things. I just went to the office to try to photocopy the rest of the book so that we can try to find another time to play before I leave. Again, too bad we just started playing now and not several months ago. Better late than never, though!
Yesterday morning, we had a run and a half of the show (we didn’t have to do it full out) followed by warm – up class and then two shows virtually back to back. I was relatively confident that I wouldn’t be able to make it through the second show, but by some miracle, I did! I can’t say it was my strongest run in the world, and half-way through I thought I was actually going to vomit, but I did it! I fell into bed last night after eating a hardy meal and passed out for 10 hours - which could have easily turned into 12 if I had had the time…
…July 1 – I never got around to finishing that last post. The last few days on the kibbutz were a total whirlwind. I’ll try to summarize the past events since I last touched my blog post:
The second evening of performances went quite well. It is absolutely amazing how quickly my stamina improved. I was able to make it through both shows and not feel completely dead. The last show, which was my hard show, went better than I thought. I didn’t make any errors in the choreography and for the first time I completely let go and enjoyed myself. Though I do enjoy doing KCDC repertoire, I often find myself thinking that it’s like little kids and spinach. You may not want to eat it and rarely do you have fun doing so, but it’s the best thing for you and so you should eat it with gusto. So I through myself into the rep, but didn’t lose myself in it until the last two performances where I caught myself actually having lots of fun! I spent so much time working and stressing about choreography and how I looked performing the material and would the artistic director see me and was I on the right counts in the right spacing…but when it came to the final shows and I knew that I had worked as hard as I could and would and that it was my last chance to dance with my friends, I had a ball. It wasn’t the greatest technical performance, but my enthusiasm for the show was enough to make me very happy! What an accomplishment!
We then spent the last few days wrapping things up. Two nights ago, we had a final potluck dinner. It was odd to have spent so many hours together in the studio or casually hanging out in our apartment complex and suddenly all gather to celebrate the end in a formal setting. It initially made me quite uncomfortable and I wished we were all around a camp fire in our pajamas. That being said, though, our final dinner was phenomenal. There was food for days! We celebrated our leaders and our time together. A few of my friends made a really beautiful video for the artistic director, Mika, and the administrator/our surrogate mother, Roni. We enjoyed that, had a final brief improvisation jam in our high heels and then gathered in a circle for one last time to say a few parting words. I surprised myself by turning into a waterfall of tears as soon as people started speaking. I cried so much that I was actually unable to compose myself long enough to say anything in our closing circle. I did, however, spend a lot of time nodding my head in the affirmative…
I am glad that after our dinner I had a day virtually to myself on the kibbutz. In the morning, Elleka and I moved out of our room and in the early afternoon the majority of my friends left for Haifa leaving me to my thoughts. At first this made me even more upset, but then I realized it was quite fitting. In many ways, I ended my journey as I came. I was one of the first to arrive and though it was quiet and very empty feeling, it gave me time to find my bearings. I spent my time hanging in the café and with kibbutz friends and accompanying Roni to the pool to watch her kids swim, share thoughts and gossip for one last time.
At 7:30 in the evening, Tessa – the girl I traveled to Israel with – and I got in a taxi, said our last goodbyes and made the trek down to Tel Aviv. I honestly couldn’t think of a better travel companion than Tessa! I remember the two of us being so shy and tentative when we first arrived. Though we lived in the same building, we never really spent any time together. I watched her grow immensely, however and I felt myself change. She is the sweetest and most thoughtful girl. It was so fitting and felt so right to share the last leg of my journey with her. We have both grown so much and it really was a pleasure to be with her.
Here I am now, in the last hour of my flight. Leaving is so bittersweet. I cannot articulate how beside myself I was to leave such a magical place. Every experience I’ve had has been meaningful and beneficial in some way. I made the most amazing group of friends, was dancing to the best of my ability always and was consistently exceedingly happy. Now that the program is over, however, part of me knows that it is not the place I am meant to be. Though I am worried about being completely overwhelmed by my return to the city, I know I have plenty of doors that are open to me in New York. The other part of me knows that I will be back to Israel for what is hopefully an extended period of time.
I met so many inspirational characters: Roni, who was a surrogate mother to us all, who organized our lives and told us unabashedly which end was supposed to be up. Renana, who changed the way I dance and gave me insight on how I could view the world. Yuko who was the most caring and beautiful person with the largest of hearts and helped me to see the simple beauty in things; Sharon - whose mind and body works in the most amazing ways; Ophra, who I only really knew for a little bit, but is fabulous in her own right as an artist, musician and person; And most certainly Mika – insightful, honest, brutal and truly amazing; she is truly the most phenomenal artistic director I have ever met!
Thank you to every one of my friends and advisors. This has been the best journey I’ve ever taken! I will be back!
With love, Marissa
